Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Top 10 Signs You’re at the End of Your Pregnancy

Granted, a lot of people think I’m near the end of pregnancy long before I am. But I think that people don’t realize, or forget, what an 8 – 9 month pregnant belly really looks like because you see them so rarely. My nesting instinct is kicking in—not the cleaning kind, but the hurry up and run all the errands and buy all the things kind. Mostly because it’s getting harder and harder to go out and I’m looking forward to sitting around the house for the last few weeks. Which brings me to #1 on my list (this might only apply to women with short legs as it’s apparently not an issue for everyone).

1. The steering wheel hits your belly. Your driving days are numbered. (A short legs with big belly problem.)

2. Reaching things in general is more difficult. (A short arms with big belly problem. Cooking dinner is getting hard. Forget about being tired and food only sometimes sounding good. If I lean against the counter, the baby kicks back in protest and pushes me away from it.)

3. Your pregnant belly is not always round. It’s often misshapen and skewed in one direction or another as baby snuggles into one side.

4. Turning over in bed is a major production.

5. If you need to pick up more than one thing off the floor, you crawl rather than getting up and down and up again. Too much work.

6. It’s hard to see your own feet. Or if you have a small child who is shorter than your belly, she can hide underneath it.

7. Your maternity shirts are getting too small. Your limited wardrobe is limited further as you slowly have to put aside maternity shirts that no longer cover your belly.

8. Almost everyone opens doors for you. People even rush to offer to help you if you’re carrying something. (This same politeness doesn’t apply to all people driving through a parking lot. But let me tell you, if you’re not stopping for this pregnant lady carrying her toddler, you’re going to get a dirty look. Because come on, who doesn’t stop for that?)

9. You use the bathroom before you leave for the store. After the 15 minute drive to the store, you have to use the bathroom again before you dare start shopping. (A change of position can make you need to pee.)

10. Your four year old tells you that she’s walking slower for you because “pregnant ladies walk really slow.”

And every time you’re certain your belly can’t get any bigger—it does.

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