Family Food

Ask most people what they eat for Thanksgiving dinner and they'll say, "Oh, just the traditional stuff." But when pressed for specifics, you'll find that the usual stuff varies widely by region and by family. Actually, all you have to do to figure that out is to get married and have a traditional holiday meal with your in-laws. You'll find dishes you've never had before and wonder where the sweet potatoes with little marshmallows are (though I'm more than happy to "miss" those).

The women in church are having an international Christmas night where we're encouraged to bring a dish from our heritage. There are many women from other countries and even if you're not, maybe you have a family recipe from a great-grandmother who immigrated here. Or maybe you're like me and most of you ancestors came over in the 17th or 18th centuries and anything like that is long lost.

I briefly joked that I probably had to bring Jello since I grew up in Utah, but then I started thinking about the foods that actually defined my childhood Christmases.

There was Jello, but it was the sugar free Jello that only my diabetic grandmother ate. And grandma herself made sugar cookie Santa heads with coconut beards and raisin eyes for the grandkids. We powered through the coconut flakes, but the rest was delicious. That side of the family also made popcorn balls--admittedly using Jello for flavor and color.

On my mom's side we couldn't eat our ham without Grandpa's potato rolls. And I had to spoil my dinner with Grandma's homemade caramels, always found in a candy dish shaped like a Santa boot. Great-grandma made divinity, but that was not to the younger generation's tastes.

So with those options in mind, I made Grandma's caramel recipe. And though I don't have a Santa boot candy dish, the buttery smooth flavor takes me back to my childhood.

Learning to Serve

I always want to incorporate service into our Christmas season--especially with my children. Both now and throughout the year we have lots of service opportunities that we hear about through our church. But the majority of the time, my children are too young to come.

This year my daughter's preschool had a food drive before Thanksgiving. I took her to the store with a list of items they were collecting and had her pick some stuff out and then we dropped it in the bin at the school. I'm glad we did it. But I don't think she ever quite got what we were doing. Thankfully, she can't imagine not having enough food to eat. So it confused her that we would give boring old cans of food to other people. (Giving away treats and baked goods she understands.)

A member of my church works at a nonprofit that had a huge toy drive for children in need throughout the area. I didn't hear about the donating toys part, but then they needed help wrapping the toys. I took my four year old with me last night to wrap presents.

She manned the tape dispenser while I wrapped. She gave me pieces of tape two or three times longer than I ever needed. She also got to eat cookies and chips. I don't think she quite got what we were doing at first.

The donations were so generous that all the kids on the list were getting two toys from the drive this year. When I told her we needed to wrap another toy for the same kid, she was impressed. I told her that she was very blessed because she was going to get more than two presents this year. She stood up and exclaimed for all to hear, "Yeah! I'm going to get tons of presents!"

As time went on, I think she understood that we were doing this for other people. She would run out to choose another pile of gifts to wrap (usually choosing the princess themed stuff, but also some Buzz Lightyear toys). And then she would ask about the child is was going to. Was it a boy or a girl? How old were they? Do you think they'd like the gift?

My friend commented that she was impressed that even though my daughter was excited by many of the toys she saw, she never asked for any of them.

On the drive home, we took some detours through the neighborhood to check out Christmas lights. I told her that what we had just done was service--doing something for other people without expecting anything in return. She did learn that doing service gives you a good feeling inside. And sometimes, there's cookies.

The Naughty List

I've already talked about how I struggle with telling my girls the myth of Santa Claus. I mostly came to terms with it last year by making sure that the Veggie Tales St. Nicholas* story is watched often to keep the true story and the meaning of Santa at the forefront. My four year old is getting it a little. She told me the other day that Santa's real name is St. Nicholas.

But this is also the first year that she is exposed to peers at school talking about Santa Claus. And, as it turns out, her preschool teacher.

She loves her teacher. I like her teacher. Minus two incidents (one that has nothing to do with my child).

Yesterday she came home from school and told me that you have to 'have (short for behave) for Santa to bring you presents. My daughter does 'have so she expects to get presents. But Miss H--- said that K---- won't get presents if he doesn't 'have. (I'm not going to even get into the public shaming side of things, which I'm not a fan of.)

I really hadn't thought about the naughty/nice list side of Santa until then. It's not something my parents emphasized or held over our heads for good behavior (thank you, Mom and Dad). I cringed a little, and then told my daughter that I feel that Santa Claus is about selflessly giving to others and loving others. Everyone is good sometimes and bad sometimes, but everyone (particularly a four year old kid for Pete's sake) deserves a present from Santa. And this is all I'll say again and again as she brings up the naughty/nice issue.

On further contemplation, I realized there are two main reasons I don't like that side of Santa Claus. First of all, getting presents is not the right motivation for good behavior. (Neither is fear of punishment, I know that even though we use it sometimes, but we're working on that.) I want my children to want to do the right thing because it's the right thing. Not because they want to get more things.

Second, what about the kid whose personality makes it harder to behave, particularly in a classroom? It's honestly easy for my daughter to behave at school. She's quiet, gets along well with most people, likes pleasing adults, and enjoys learning. She's never had a single day when she didn't want to go to school (I've seen almost every one of her classmates reluctantly hanging onto their parent's leg, not wanting to go in, at one point or another). But the kid who has a lot of energy, who would really just prefer to pretend to be a dinosaur all day? Behaving, according to the confines of preschool, is a bit harder. That doesn't make him bad or less deserving of presents.

What do you think of the naughty/nice list side of Santa Claus? Or do you not overthink these things like I do?


* I love something new about this show this year. I hadn't noticed it before. At the end, the Veggies leave their church worship to go out and serve their neighbor in need. Yes, worshipping in church is important. But serving, doing exactly what Christ would have done, is more important.

My Struggle with Santa

I struggle with Santa. When I was a child, probably much younger than my parents would have liked, I set out to try to disprove Santa. As a skeptical and logical child, I knew that the myth of Santa Claus couldn’t be true, but I wanted my parents to admit it.

 Now I’m a parent. The first couple of years with a child in the house still didn’t need to involve Santa. Last year was a little different. We made cookies for Santa, but my daughter really didn’t get it.

This year she is a lot more aware. She sees Santa everywhere. I don’t like the idea of lying to her, no matter how magical and fun it might be for a few years. I also don’t want to squash any of that magic and fun for a three-year-old.

This I do know about Santa: Any discussion of Santa is going to include the original story of St. Nicholas and the spirit of Christmas and Santa Claus rather than a fat man who brings you presents because you’ve been good. Last year I saw a Veggie Tales movie called Saint Nicholas: The Story of Joyful Giving. I bought it this year and it’s going to be a regular part of our Christmas experience every year. It tells the story of the original Saint Nicholas and focuses on the joy of giving and serving others. But you may have gathered that from the title.

I also know that if my children ever question Santa, I’m not going to try to perpetuate the myth. No matter their age, if they have doubts in the fat man in a red suit, I’m not going to lie to them. In our house, Santa will be a symbol of giving. Which will involve us giving to those in need since we are so blessed (and when I was young, my family was often on the receiving end of that kind of giving). And the focus of Christmas will be on the birth of the Savior.

Here’s a blog post I’ve seen about what Santa means and how to explain it to your child once they do start wondering.

Truth About Santa

What My Christmastime Baby Taught Me

I didn’t want a Christmastime baby. Silly reasons like birthdays being overshadowed by Christmas. But only after I had a Christmas baby (little Noelle, born nine days before Christmas last year) did I realize how much more special it would make her birthday. And how significant the event would be in my life and my understanding of Christ’s birth.

 Noelle is my second baby, so I’d been through labor and birth before and joined the sympathy club of women throughout the world and time who have done the same. But after giving birth to a child in my home with nothing but my own limited abilities, my family, and my prayers to God to get me through did I really think about what Mary went through to bring the Christ child into the world.

Giving birth on a dark winter’s night with the stockings hanging nearby and the lights of the Christmas tree reflecting off the Nativity, made me think of another little baby born so long ago who grew to be the Savior of the world. He began life as a helpless baby like you and me and my little one, Noelle. Yet he went on to save us all. His atonement made it possible for us all to repent and be forgiven, and made it so he knew and understood all the pain and anguish of the world—including the pain I went through to bring Noelle into the world. His death and resurrection made it possible for us all to live again. And for us to see loved ones who have died. Noelle will one day know her Papa Newman who died before she was born and her Great-Grandpa Newman who died this Christmas season.

I hope that as she grows older Noelle will know how special it is to celebrate her birthday at Christmastime, that she gets to share her birthday with the time that we are celebrating Jesus’ birthday. That while presents for her birthday and Christmas are fun, her birthday is a really a celebration of her and Christmas is a celebration of Christ’s birth and life. We named her Noelle as a reminder and a way to celebrate the time and circumstances of her birth. So happy first birthday, Noelle! Today we celebrate you. Thank you for coming to our family when you did and giving me such a beautiful lesson in the reason for Christmas in the first few days of your life. I will never be able to forget Christ at Christmas because your birth will ever be my reminder.

Christmas with Children

2012: My baby wants to play with the magnets belonging to the advent.

Christmas is just more magical when you have children. Even if you don't make a big deal out of Santa Claus (more thoughts on that to come).

This is my baby's second Christmas, but she was only nine days old for her first one. This year she is enthralled all the lights and colors and sparkles of Christmas. She spends much of her time reaching for the advent calendar, the stockings, and the tree. And Christmas day will be full of boxes and ribbon and crinkly wrapping paper--what could be better?

My favorite new thing this Christmas is my three year old. She remembers Christmas last year and is adding to her idea of Christmastime. Many people feel jaded by the commercialism of Christmas. But in her innocence, my little girl sees things a bit differently. She is amazed and excited every time we go into a store or any public place and she sees that, "Hey, look Mom! They have Christmas stuff here!" Every new evidence of Christmastime is something to be celebrated and wondered over.

2011: The wonder of getting presents is even better than the presents themselves.

Christmas, Christmas Time Is Here!

Our Christmas tree is up, our stockings are hung, and we started our Christmas season by visiting a community Nativity Exhibit last night. Afterward we drove around a little to see the lights that many people have already put up. Christmastime has begun!

I had most of my Christmas shopping done weeks ago, so this year I’m trying to focus on doing things instead of buying things to celebrate the season.

This is the first year I’ve wrapped our Christmas books to count down to Christmas. We only have 20 books instead of 24, but I don’t think my daughter will mind having them all opened and being able to read any she chooses early. In fact, she thought we would get to open them all today.

Many of our Christmas traditions are done as an entire family. But Daddy is going to be out of town for the first two weeks of December, so some of our Christmas activities will help us pass the time without him. I’m going to set up a play date with a friend and her little girls to decorate gingerbread houses because it will be a lot more fun with more kids to enjoy it.

Here are a few of the things we have planned for this Christmas season. What’s on your list?

Christmastime Activities

Remembering the Reason
Read the Christmas Story from Luke
Christmas Scripture Chain
Talk About and Play with the Fisher Price Nativity

Outdoors
Build a Snowman
Go Sledding
Drive to See Christmas Lights

Watch
“Charlie Brown Christmas”
“It’s a Wonderful Life”
“Veggie Tales: Saint Nicholas” 

Indoors
Christmas Books Advent
Sing Christmas Carols
Letter to Santa

Art
Make Paper Snowflakes
Make Ornaments
Christmas Cards for Grandparents 

Kitchen
Christmas Cookies
Gingerbread Houses
Homemade Wassail

Giving Is Better…
Donate Food to the Food Bank
Give Christmas Goodies to Friends
Donate to Community Needs Basket

Outings
Community Creche Exhibit
Church Christmas Party
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