The Best Feeling

Weaning makes me a little sad. Less opportunity for snuggles with an active baby or toddler. But after weaning, and after a full month spent asking for milk, my toddler now buries her face in my neck and wraps her arms around me when she needs comfort. It's a safe place for her and a pretty awesome feeling for her mama. I'm trying to soak it up every time because this stage won't last forever either.

(Photo taken by my sister-in-law after a day on the beach.)

There's Always a Reason

I've made plenty of mistakes as a mom. And I hesitate to give advice because of those mistakes, and because I've received so much unwanted advice as a mother of young children (I first typed "young mother," but that brings to mind someone much younger than myself). But there is at least one thing I've learned about babies: there's always a reason.

If your normally happy baby is screaming, there's a reason (and it's not because she's trying to ruin your day or your sleep). You might not know that reason at the time, but I've almost always later discovered what was upsetting a baby or changing her schedule or any other unexpected and unexplained thing that babies do.

I do have to remind myself of this from time to time. Like when my one year old (who I was about to try to wean) suddenly starts waking up every hour or two to feed at night again. Or she is so needy and demanding  to breastfeed so often during the day that my corresponding soreness if reminiscent of the early days of breastfeeding (seriously, I thought I was done with that). Cutting a tooth? An earache? A growth spurt? Fighting a mild bug? Maybe even a combination. But there is a reason and she's too young to try to make me miserable on purpose.

So my reluctant advice to myself and anyone else struggling with unexplained neediness of their baby (or even child) is that there is a good reason. And they'll eventually get over it. Right?

#2

With baby #1 I was completely neurotic. I read every book and article and knew exactly what she should be doing at every stage. I worried that I was doing something wrong if she wasn't sleeping through the night by such and such an age. I was meticulous about introducing solids and always knew what she was allowed to eat and when.

With baby #2, I'm only slightly neurotic. (I still occasionally check to make sure she's still breathing while she sleeps, but not as much as I did with #1.) I have no idea what the books say she should be doing. Sometimes I look in #1's scrapbook to compare when they got their first tooth or started sitting up, but as a point of interest, not because I'm worried that #2 isn't on track. I don't worry about what the books say she should be doing and adapt my mothering to what works for her and keeps me the most sane.

I've still tried to be careful about introducing new foods because food allergies run in the family. She had a reaction to cantaloupe and so I won't be giving it to her again till it's in season again (I'm trying to move our family toward eating seasonally, but that's another story).

But with #2, even the best of intentions are sometimes altered by #1. There are a few things I don't want my baby to eat until she's one year old. Cow's milk, honey, and chocolate. The other day #2 (who isn't quite 10 months old) was crying while I changed the laundry. Suddenly, she was happy without me having to intervene. The reason: #1 was sharing her honey graham crackers and milk. And in keeping with my more relaxed attitude, I just said oh well and asked #1 not to share those things again. But she probably will. And the baby will survive. Plus I think it's more important that my daughters learn to share and play together nicely.