When Mormons and Muslims Get Together

A few months ago a lovely couple moved in next door. They have been friendly from the beginning and the second time we saw them, they brought over gifts for our little girls to celebrate their holiday. They also gave us a huge TV and a BluRay player when they got new ones. We've only had short encounters with them until Saturday night when my husband realized that the dutch oven casserole he made could feed a small army. So he headed next door and asked them over for dinner. They initially declined because our food had pork in it, which is against halal, but they brought their own food and came over to eat with us.

We let our girls stay up way too late so that we could sit and talk with them. It was one of the most interesting conversations I've ever been in as Mormons and Muslims sat together and shared our respective religions' origin stories, our beliefs, and the why of what we do and how we live. I'm a fairly well-read person and 95% of the time I listen to NPR, so I wasn't completely ignorant about their customs and beliefs, but hearing why they do what they do from someone who lives it (she grew up Muslim, he converted after attending and learning about many other churches) was entirely different. Here's some of what I learned.

Islam refers to the religion, Muslim refers to the people. Just as our religion is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and we refer to ourselves as a people as Saints. (This is one of the things I did know--go me.)

Halal means permissible and can apply to many things, but most often refers to what they eat. They don't eat any pork and any meat they do eat has to be slaughtered in a certain way. They can eat meat that is designated as either Halal or Kosher because they have the same requirements. But Halal seems much easier than what I know of strict Kosher eating. Meat is really the only thing, so at work potlucks, he just tells people that he eats vegetarian--something that people understand. So it wouldn't be all that hard for me to cook a dinner they could eat because I know how to cook for vegetarians.

Hijab is not just the head covering, it refers to the whole outfit that keeps them modest. Women only show their faces and hands to people outside their families (the women you see who only have eye slits showing is more a cultural thing from a certain area, not something that Islam requires). Men have a hijab requirement too, which sound similar to our Mormon modesty standards. Covering to the knees, no low necklines, covering the shoulders. Even though we understood each other's reasons for modesty, even in a blazing hot place like Florida, I can't imagine covering up as much as she does. Just as I realized later how odd it must seem to her that we adhere to modesty standards that are altered when we go to the beach or the pool because we wear swimsuits there.

They have five set prayers a day. They say them at certain times of day, say them facing Mecca, and have set words. All this is a sign of unity with all the Muslims of the world. And when you see them praying together in the mosques and they are so close together it makes me claustrophobic just to look at, it is to show they are all equal--rich and poor and all races stand together shoulder to shoulder as equals before God.  (They can also say what I would consider personal prayers at any time they want, so not all their prayers are scripted.)

They believe in many of the same prophets as we do--Abraham, Noah, Moses. And believe in Jesus as a prophet, but not as a Savior or son of God. They believe that the scriptures these prophets brought are true, but that they were for the people of that time, so they really don't study them. She knew that Jesus had brought some scripture, but didn't know what it was well enough to know what it corresponded to with the scriptures we know and study. They believe that Mohammed was the last prophet and the Koran is the word of God brought forth through him. Part of what we as Mormons, who believe in living prophets and continuing revelation, couldn't understand about their religion is that to be Muslim you must believe and declare that Mohammed is the last prophet.

There are obviously many differences between our two religions. But in a secular world, we have more in common that you might first think. Our religion is something we live every day, not just on Sunday (or Friday). We have modesty dressing standards. We don't drink alcohol and have other dietary standards that other people don't understand (theirs is meat, ours is coffee). In a world where religious beliefs and standards are often mocked and looked down upon, it was refreshing to sit down with people who live high standards. And fascinating to hear what they believe. And a mix of terror and hilarity and pride listening to my husband give the first discussion to some Muslims sitting at our kitchen table.

Why It's Okay to Be Afraid

When I picked up my daughter from preschool today, her hair was all askew and she had loops of hair pulled out of her pigtails. I immediately knew that something had made her nervous or upset; pulling at her hair is one of the way she copes. Her teacher told me that they had read a book and some of the images had scared her. As soon as this was brought up, my daughter burst into tears and we had to go to a corner and calm down before we left.

I kind of hate Halloween. I like candy and I like cute costumes, but I hate the fear and gore and making light of horrible ways to die. I can't even take my little girls to get the mail right now because the house next to the mailboxes is decorated too scary. I guess if you're into that fear thing you can do it, but keep it to yourself please. I really hate it when people (often their own parents or family members) think it's funny to scare small children with masks or scary images at Halloween. And there's a weird sense of pride in not being scared of frightening things.

But one of the things I told my daughter when we came home is that it's okay to be scared--and when we are, we don't have to stay or keep looking at whatever is making us afraid. It's okay to be afraid: sometimes it's the spirit telling us that something is wrong, and we should never ignore that spirit. It's okay to be afraid: my daughter for one, is a sensitive soul and far from wanting to squelch that, I want to help her cultivate it. As she grows older, the things that scare her simply because she doesn't understand them will diminish. But I don't want her to lose the sensitivity that will help her be a compassionate human being. It's okay to be afraid: You don't have to pretend to like the gross or scary things that come around at Halloween just because a few people do and many people pretend to. I wish my teenage self had stood up for herself and refused to go to the haunted house that made her physically nauseous, but I'm glad that my young adult self finally had the sense to not care if everyone else was going and I was going to miss out on a good time. Because that's not my version of a good time.

Okay, rant over. Now for a sweet picture from last year of the fun part of Halloween. The cutest little Snoopy and Woodstock you've ever seen:

A Missing Piece

On Saturday I went to a workout class. A new friend teaches at a new Barre Workout place in town (combines ballet, yoga, and pilates) and had a free workout coupon for me.

It was hard. It worked muscles I'd never worked before. It felt awkward because it had moves I'd never done before. It was also hard and awkward because it was the first workout class I've been to since before I had children.

I actually work out fairly regularly. I average about 3 or 4 times per week. But that's on my own at home. And at home my own or my children's stamina for allowing me to workout ends long before one hour. So this workout was longer than I'm used to. But that wasn't the only difference.

As I lay in a relaxing pose at the end, I felt close to tears. Not because of pain or exhaustion (that was there too). It was a release of emotions and stress and tension. Something I haven't felt since I was last in a yoga class over five years ago.

I've been told it for years, but I'm finally learning it. You have to take time for yourself. My at home workouts are good and important. But they are often cut short. I am watching out so I don't step on or kick a small child running by. Even if I do it while they're sleeping, I'm still on mommy alert to them waking up or needing me.

Only by leaving them with their dad and going and doing something completely for me (even shopping involves getting stuff for them) did I get to focus on me and work on me. We all know that if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. But it's hard to remember when the needs of small children are so much louder and more persistent than your own.

The Best Feeling

Weaning makes me a little sad. Less opportunity for snuggles with an active baby or toddler. But after weaning, and after a full month spent asking for milk, my toddler now buries her face in my neck and wraps her arms around me when she needs comfort. It's a safe place for her and a pretty awesome feeling for her mama. I'm trying to soak it up every time because this stage won't last forever either.

(Photo taken by my sister-in-law after a day on the beach.)

Fall Bucket List (and Leaf Garland)

So this week I decided to pick myself up out of my self-pity for not having Fall here. I used Pinterest as inspiration and not just jealousy, and made a simple leaf garland out of craft items I already had on hand. I found a leaf template online, cut out felt leaves in Autumn colors, and stitched them together with embroidery thread. I honestly can't even sew on a decent button, but if you can trace, cut, and push a needle in and out, you could do this. I decided to count the unevenness of the stitches and spacing as a rustic look. Originally I had thought to hang it along the stair banister, but with the amount of leaves I could get from the colors I liked, it simply wasn't long enough. But I like it hanging from this shelf too.

For the past couple of years, I've made a bucket list for various seasons or holidays so that our days aren't spent watching TV. I couldn't put apple picking or crunching through leaf piles (although I think my felt leaves are pretty, they are not crunchy), but I tried to put some Fall activities we could do here in Florida. And some that I might never think of doing in the Autumn months if we lived elsewhere.

Fall 2013 Bucket List 

Outdoors 
Go Camping
Family Bike Ride
UCF Arboretum
Visit a Pumpkin Patch 

Outings 
Mommy/Daughter Date
Daddy/Daughter Date
Orlando Science Center
Avalon Park Oktoberfest

Arts & Crafts 
Make a Thankful Tree
Apple Stamping
Carve a Pumpkin
Handprint Turkeys

Indoors 
Make Pumpkin Cookies
Drink Apple Cider
Make a Blanket Fort
Have a Read-a-Thon

Seasonal Sadness

We moved to Florida in May and jumped right into summer. It was summer a bit early, but close to my expected summertime nonetheless. I haven't loved the heat and humidity and the fact that it's too hot to play outside and when we try to it's five minutes tops before my little girls are pink cheeked and drenched in sweat. I have loved the summer afternoon thunderstorms which are common here.

And then the calendar switched to September. And other people who live in a land of seasons started posting about fall weather and trips up the canyon and changing leaves and pumpkin recipes. And I got sad. Really, really sad. Fall is my favorite season and it simply doesn't exist here. We will still have Halloween here, we can still make pumpkin recipes, and I think there are even pumpkin patches to visit. But there will be no sweaters and boots. No crunching leaves and crisp, cool mornings. No eating apples picked right off the tree or pressing cider in a 100 year old press. No jumping in leaf piles and tossing them in the air. All these pictures are from last year. They're frozen in time and the experience won't be repeated this year:

So forgive me if I post about camping and family walks and picnics while you're stuck inside in January. It's the trade off for me not getting to experience Fall this year. And I'm not so sure the trade off is worth it yet.

(I have considered decorating my house like Fall, but I don't decorate for anything but Christmas and don't really know how. Plus the whole money thing.)

Reading Aloud to Young Children

When my first was one year old, I read her the entire Chronicles of Narnia out loud while she played on the floor. We lived with my in-laws at the time, so I had significantly more time to do something like that. Since then I had really only read my girls the picture books that they chose. Which is great too.

But I have memories of my mom reading books aloud to all six of her children. Once my dad even read the book (Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls). I know we read lots of different books, but the ones I remember most are the books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Farmer Boy remains one of my mom's favorite books in the world.

One of my goals this summer was to read a chapter book out loud to my girls. I chose Little House in the Big Woods. Little House on the Prairie is the most well-known, but in Big Woods, Laura is about four years old, my daughter's age. Reading a chapter at a time, we didn't even finish its 13 chapters this summer. But then we started preschool and found a good rhythm for reading together and finished it quickly. After lunch my daughter changes into her uniform and brushes her teeth, then while we wait for it to be time to go, we read a chapter. Some days are too hectic, but more often than not we get to read together.

She loved reading this book because it did have a few drawings that she could look at as we read about something completely foreign to her (like harvesting or making cheese or going to a town for the first time in your life). Laura has a sister and a mom and a dad just like my daughter (both of them even have dads who have beards!).

Today we get to choose a new book to read. I significantly cleaned up my book collection before we moved here, but I still have a few of my favorites. I still have the entire Laura Ingalls Wilder collection because of the childhood memories they brought, so we could choose another one of those. A few other ideas I'll suggest to her:

The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner
Matilda by Roald Dahl
The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

I'm looking for something with stories that will entertain, but not be too difficult of topics. I've heard of a series of books called Ivy and Bean, which we may check out from the library. Any other suggestions of good read aloud books for young children?