Read Aloud Books: The Boxcar Children

When I was young I read so much, that I often got through more than one book a day. Some nights I even waited till everyone was asleep and took a pillow and blanket and made a bed in the bathtub and read for hours. (I never had my own room so I couldn't just keep a light on in the bedroom.)

One of my favorites was The Boxcar Children. I read all 19 originals and many more in the series that now has 130 books. My favorite was the first one. I liked to imagine that I would be as resourceful and independent as the Alden children if I found myself parentless.

Today I finished reading the original book aloud to my children. They're watching the movie (yes, there's a movie now) on Netflix. When it's done we're going to compare the book to the movie and my six-year-old, who loves opinion writing, is going to write about which version she likes better and why.

My children seem to love the book as much as I did. I found the Alden children more patronizing that anything this time around. (Oh, please can I hem the tablecloth begs Violet. Oh, Benny! the other three children laugh at Benny's antics. He's five, but acts like a toddler. It is oh so wholesome and the children sound like what an adult would like children to be rather than what they actually are.)

But who am I to deprive my kids of a story I loved, and a potential series with enough books to last them 130 days of reading if any of them end up reading as much as I did?

Some Favorite Picture Books

To get kids excited about reading, it helps to have books they love. Here's a list of some favorites around our house.

Anything by Mo Willems. If you don't know who Knuffle Bunny is, if you're not friends with Elephant and Piggie, and if you've never had to stop the Pigeon from driving the bus, you're missing out. We love everything by Mo Willems. We always stop at his spot on the library shelf to see if there's anything new by him--or old favorites. A less known Mo Willems that my girls love is Leonardo the Terrible Monster.

King Jack and the Dragon by Peter Bently is a charming story about a boy who fights off dragons with his brother and friend. One of my girls has chosen this book every single night since we got it from the library.

Press Here by Herve Tullet was another favorite library find. Press the button and fun things happen with the dots on the page. I was surprised at how much my five year old loved reading and playing with this book. In an age where she's familiar with tablets and things really do change with the touch of a button, she had fun imagining along with this book.

We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen. This book is best read by daddy with lots of enthusiasm. When she was only two, my daughter could recite this book along with him.

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak is my favorite picture book ever. My boy will be Max for Halloween some year.

Other books my kids love:

Pinkalicious by Victoria Kann
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
The Snowy Day by Ezra Zack Keats
Pete the Cat by Eric Litwin
No, David! by David Shannon
Robert Munsch books
Look and Find books

What are some of your family's favorite picture books?

7 Tips for Raising a Reader

About a quarter of American adults don't read a single book in a year (statistic found here). My mom had six children--every single one of us are readers. We have very different reading tastes and some of us read more than others. I was the biggest book nerd and the one that went on to get a college degree in reading books (also known as an English major). But 100% of us read books as adults. That's no accident.

So how do you raise a reader? Some kids are drawn to books. I pretended to read before I learned how to read. As a child I would literally stay up for hours reading books under the covers. But for those who aren't, here are some things I've learned from how my mom raised me and how I'm raising my kids.

1. Own books. Your kids won't read much if there aren't books around. Books can be expensive, but they don't have to be. Yard sales, thrift stores, and library sales are a great place to find books for a dollar or two, often less for kids' books.

2. Let your kids touch the books. I certainly have books that are more expensive and that I keep up high, but for the most part, I let my kids handle books--even my books. Teach them from an early age how to treat books, but don't make books off limits for little hands. Of course, you should wait until they're old enough to know not to try to eat the book, but other than that, let them at it.

3. Read aloud to them. Read to babies, toddlers, and school aged kids. Read books as a family. My mom did this one really well--most days we sat together through a chapter of Little House on the Prairie or some other family-friendly classic. Once, my dad read a book to the family. Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls. I read the entire Chronicles of Narnia series to my oldest daughter before she turned two.

4. Give books as gifts. In the months leading up to Christmas, I look for books on sale or nice used books. Each child gets a stack of new books for Christmas. A present is exciting.

5. Visit the library. Even better than cheap, library books are free. Story times can be fun, but we go for the books. I let my girls browse the shelves and pick out things that appeal to them. I also look for things I think they'll enjoy. My oldest has recently discovered (by going to school) that some people speak a different language, so I found a book that has lots of different ways to say hello.

6. Create a reading space. We read everywhere, but we have a reading room (we're lucky now, but it can be a corner or a nook--once our books were at the end of the hall). In this same vein, create certain times for reading. Besides reading throughout the day, each girl gets to choose a book to have read to them before bedtime.

7. And last of all--READ. As in you, the parent. You don't have to read as much as I do, but don't be that statistic. Not everyone loves fiction, but find a topic that interests you, that will help you in your career or hobby. Read how to books, read magazines, read cookbooks, read newspapers. My dad was not a big reader, but he loved his Louis L'Amour and even though that's not my usual style, I read every single one he had while I was growing up. I cherish two Louis L'Amour books I have from his collection. Let your kids see you reading and talk about what you read.

Best Books of 2014

Ten minutes before midnight on December 31, 2014, I finished reading my 50th book of the year. I haven't read that many books since 2011. I didn't think I was going to make it, but the fireworks and music from other people's parties kept the baby awake, so I had time to read. Yes, I'm super cool.

Here are some of my favorite books from the year.

Best Read:
All the Truth That's In Me by Julie Berry
I read this for book club and had no idea what to expect. It was excellent and surprising. I highly recommend it. (I tried reading another Julie Berry book and couldn't get into it. I don't know if this one is way better than her other work or if I was unfortunate enough to pick one that isn't as good as her others.)

Best Reread:
Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale
I chose this for book club and enjoyed it again. I like Shannon Hale and I maintain that this is her best work.

Best Fairy Tale Retelling:
The Girls at the Kingfisher's Club by Genevieve Valentine
I love retellings of classic stories and fairy tales. But it's not often that I come across one as original as this one. Twelve Dancing Princesses makes 1920s speakeasies.

Best Older YA Read:
Kiss Kill Vanish by Jessica Martinez
A fun thriller with some excellent writing.

Best Younger YA Read:
Fortunately, the Milk by Neil Gaiman
A father goes out to get milk for his kids' cereal and comes back with a silly story of what took him so long. I read this on my own, but look forward to reading it aloud to my kids sometime.

Best Nonfiction:
What If? by Randall Munroe
Scientific answers to ridiculous hypothetical questions. I'm not even that into science and I enjoyed it. I think someone who really enjoys and understands science would appreciate it even more.

Other Books I'd Recommend:
People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks
The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
Songs of Willow Frost by Jamie Ford

What were your favorite reads of 2014? I'm always looking for recommendations.

Thoughts on Censorship

I recently reread one of my favorite books of all time for book club. Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson. Beautiful language, lovely sense of place. You really should read it. Everyone should.

While trying to learn more about the book and the author for the book club meeting, I came across this quote from an interview in the Paris Review:

"When I’m teaching, sometimes issues come up. I might read a scene in a student’s story that seems—by my standards—pornographic. I don’t believe in exploiting or treating with disrespect even an imagined person. But at the same time, I realize that I can’t universalize my standards. In instances like that, I feel I have to hold my religious reaction at bay. It is important to let people live out their experience of the world without censorious interference, except in very extreme cases." - Marilynne Robinson

As a religious person there are many things that are deemed acceptable in the world that I do not agree with. But as someone educated in the liberal arts, I don't believe in censorship either. I believe in each individual being able to choose what they write and what they read. (Of course, parents help make that choice for their children until they're old enough to make their own choices.)

Trying to ban or censor something only gives it more publicity and makes it more interesting. Mark Twain expressed excitement when a book of his was banned from a library because he knew that the children would want to read it and they'd have to go out and buy their own copies.

We should stand up for our standards and share them, but never try to force them on others--I don't want someone else's forced on me.

Happy Roald Dahl Day!

September 13 is Roald Dahl's birthday and we went to the celebration at our local library. They read some vile verses, played some games, and made fantastic fox masks. Then we came home and watched James and the Giant Peach.

Fantastic Foxes

I loved Roald Dahl as a child, His stories are about children overcoming the mean adults in their lives. And some silliness.

One of my favorite books as a child was Matilda. In my mind I was Matilda. Minus the sleazy father, neglectful mother, tyrannical principal, and magic powers. But I loved books. So I was Matilda. (Nerdy, book-loving kids love books about other nerdy, book-loving kids.)

Happy Roald Dahl Day!

Summer Reading

A summer spent breastfeeding a newborn is a great time to do some reading. I read a couple of nonfiction books, but I spent most my time with novels. I'm behind on everything else in life. But my baby is fat and happy and my brain is full of books. Here's a few of my favorites from the last couple of months.

The best book I read all summer was All the Truth That's In Me by Julie Berry. The story was original and surprising. The writing was beautiful. Just read it.

The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd followed two women on either side of the slave South. I didn't know till I had finished it that it was based on true events and real, remarkable women.

The Girls at the Kingfisher's Club by Genevieve Valentine is a retelling of The Twelve Dancing Princesses. I've enjoyed retellings of fairy tales since I was a young teenager (a favorite author from those years was Robin McKinley, and the young girl still in me loves Shannon Hale stories). This is probably the most original retelling I've ever read. The bones of the story are still there, but it's set in prohibition era speakeasies.

Entwined by Heather Dixon was another retelling of The Twelve Dancing Princesses. I didn't intentionally read two of them. I think it might be becoming more popular (thus a movie should be coming out sometime soon). This one was more like a traditional fairy tale. Still fun and probably better for younger audiences than the above one.

Songs of Willow Frost by Jamie Frost I read because of the author. I read Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet a few years ago. The title of that one sums up his books for me: bitter and sweet. His stories are beautiful and sad, but always redemptive. He's a great storyteller. This one has some difficult subject matter, so definitely for an older audience.

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart was a little bit dark, sending a few shivers down your spine. But if I can handle it, you know it can't be that bad. I liked it but would only recommend it if you like things that are a little bit dark.

Book Review and Thoughts on Grief

Having a Kindle Paperwhite has allowed me to read many books in just the past month that I've been breastfeeding. It's a lot easier to hold than a print book, the baby is not distracted by the noise of turning pages, and I can easily read books at 3 a.m. without turning on any lights.

One book I recently read (and finished at 3 a.m. as often seems to be the case) is Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala. It is a memoir of a woman who lost her husband, both her sons, and her parents when the tsunami hit Sri Lanka where they were vacationing on December 26, 2004.

I vaguely remember hearing about this tsunami that killed more than 200,000 people across many countries in the Indian Ocean. But as sad as such a news story is, if it doesn't directly effect you, you quickly forget it. As Annie Dillard said, "It hurts more to break a leg."

Wave tells the story of what happened to her family, and of the grief that followed. She is brutally honest about her feelings and her actions in the years following her loss. She doesn't sugarcoat the crazy things she did or the angry thoughts she had about other people. And she addresses things that made her feel guilty--like the fact that she didn't grieve for her parents' loss for a few years because she was so caught up in grieving for her sons and her husband. Something that most people grieving for the death of a loved one don't have to deal with because we usually face them one at a time.

This book made me think about grief and how we all deal with it. A couple of weeks ago marked the 4th year anniversary of my father's death from lung cancer. Two days before that an old acquaintance who touched hundreds of lives died. One day before that my great-uncle died. It was a tough week.

But I have something that Deraniyagala doesn't seem to--a belief in God and faith that we will one day be reunited with our lost loved ones. Knowing that doesn't mean you don't miss them or think it's unfair that they are gone. But when Deraniyagala spoke of her lost family, she kept stating that they were gone and she had to remember that. No hopes or thoughts of a future reunion. No comfort in knowing her family is together. How terribly bleak death must be without that faith.

I do not mean this next comment to make light of what Deraniyagala went through, but her apparent wealth made the process of dealing with what her family left behind different than what my family experienced at my father's death. Just the fact that her family traveled back and forth between different countries often shows she had a lot more than most. And this fact made it so that she didn't return to her London home until almost four years after her family's death--and it was still her home. My family had to leave the home they shared with my father just weeks after he died. Meaning we, and especially my mother, had to deal with the material things left behind right away rather than waiting years. I can't even begin to say what might be better or worse. She also traveled to new places she'd never been with her family to deal with the emotions she faced at each of her children's birthdays.

Birthdays. My family and I try to take my dad's birthday as a time to celebrate his life and remember him. The family that lives close get together and have a dinner of his favorite things and talk about him. I only rarely think about how old my father would have been. I might reflect on it more on the years he would have been 60 or 70. But losing a child fills each passing birthday with thoughts of how old they would have been, how much they would have grown, and what they would have been doing if only they had lived. I cannot even imagine that pain--especially in losing all your children.

As sad as the story is, I highly recommend the book. It is a very human story and I enjoyed her writing. It's one of those rare occasions when something extraordinary happens to someone and their memoir doesn't need to include the name of the person who actually wrote it. Fair warning, she uses the F word about half a dozen times. I can't say I necessarily blame her based on what she was going through, but I know some people would like to avoid it in the books they read.

Birth Books

Going on baby #3, I've read lots of pregnancy and birth books. The list tends to be heavy on natural birthing because that it is what I have chosen when possible, but I've read a variety. Though I certainly advocate natural birth, I also know that it's not the right choice for everyone or a possibility for every pregnancy. But I firmly believe that you can't truly make a choice unless you actually know what your choices are. And just as it's important for someone like me planning a home birth to know about and be prepared for any possibility, including a c-section if it is truly needed, I believe it's important for someone planning a hospital birth with pain medications to have some knowledge of how to get through an unmedicated birth. I know plenty of women who planned a hospital birth with medications who had a baby too quickly to take anything--even one who gave birth in her car on the way to the hospital.

Since I keep a list of books I've read (yes, I'm a nerd like that), I can look back and know exactly what books I've read before each child.

Before Baby #1 (who I wanted to have naturally but being in a hospital setting contributed to me needing an epidural--one that didn't work like they're supposed to):

1) Having a Baby, Naturally by Peggy O'Mara
Written by the editor of Mothering Magazine, it's a good overview of natural childbirth.
2) Birthing from Within by Pam England
I don't remember a lot of details from this book, but I remember that it covers lots of methods for coping with the pain of childbirth, not just one like most books do.
3) Birth: The Surprising History of How We are Born by Tina Cassidy
Talks about the history of childbirth through the years. Interesting to see how much things change and how certain beliefs came to be.
4) Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy
Not an education book, but she does give some funny insight into a first time mom's experience. She can be a little crude, and I didn't like the follow up Baby Laughs nearly as much.
5) The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine
Written by a normal woman. It talks about some of the weird, embarrassing things that women in experience during pregnancy and childbirth that we don't talk about with everyone.
6) Hypnobirthing by Marie F. Mongan
I've known this method to work great for many people. It simply didn't for me. I don't think I'm the right personality for it. But if you are planning a natural birth, it's a good one to look into.
7) What to Expect When You're Expecting
This is the only book I wish I hadn't read. It should only be used as a reference book (but you can easily search the same information on childbirth websites like babycenter.com). Read from cover to cover it brings up too many scary what ifs that are rarely an issue.

Before Baby #2 (who I gave birth to in a tub at home):

1) Better Birth by Denise Spatafora
My take on it after reading it was: "Pretty good, a little too touchy feely, repetitive and there are lots of others like it."
2) Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein
This is a good one with lots of information and fairly unbiased. They also have two documentaries: The Business of Being Born and More Business of Being Born which are usually available n Netflix Streaming. The first one set out to explore natural birth, but in an unexpected turn of events also follows a birth that ends up taking place in a hospital. Which reinforces my feelings that it's important to know all aspects of birth.
3) Birth Matters: A Midwife's Manifesta by Ina May Gaskin
Ina May is the most well-known midwife in America, and is also known throughout the world. She definitely advocates natural birth. But if you want to learn about it, she is the one to read.
4) Gentle Birth Choices by Barbara Harper, RN
This one was long, but had a good coverage of lots of issues surrounding childbirth.
5) The Official Lamaze Guide by Lothian and DeVries
Another method of childbirth pain management. I've never stuck to one method, but was glad that I read a variety so I had different methods to call on at the time.
6) Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
The book to read on natural childbirth.
7) Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding by Ina May Gaskin
A good guide to breastfeeding no matter what your childbirth choices or realities are.

Before Baby #3 (who is due in a couple of weeks and I'm planning a home waterbirth, though I have back up plans for if something goes wrong):

1) A Good Birth by Anne Drapkin Lyerly
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has given birth, especially if things didn't go as hoped. It helped me process both of my previous births and come to terms with some regrets I had.
2) The Homebirth Guide by some doctors
This one was okay. As someone who had already given birth at home, it was mostly reminders.
3) Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
A good reread and reminder.
4) Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding by Ina May Gaskin

Another good reread. I'm really hoping to avoid the same early breastfeeding issues I encountered with my first two (who had different issues). What I've probably learned the most is to get professional intervention right away if I'm having any difficulties.

5) Mindful Birthing by Nancy Bardacke

The method in this one is mostly meditation, but I've found good information in it even without doing the meditation practices. Even with all the other childbirth books I've read, I'm glad that I picked up this one.

So there you have it. I believe that knowledge is power--but too much knowledge can stress you out. What I really wish I'd known the first time around (both in reading about birthing and parenting) was to gather knowledge but to trust in myself, to not become too attached to any one method or idea, and to speak up for myself.

For Baby #3, I have plans for how I want things to go, contingency plans for if something goes wrong, and trying to have more trust in my body's ability to birth, and since I'm religious, a little more faith in God and a little less need to try and control things out of my control.

Female Friendships

For book club this month I read The Girls from Ames by Jeffrey Zaslow. It's not something I would have picked up on my own, but it made me think and tore me in a few different directions.

One aspect I liked is that it made me think of This American Life where they interview average Americans and find that everyone has a unique story. If you delve deep enough, no one's life is boring.

The Girls from Ames is about a group of 11 women whose friendships go back forty years. They were (mostly) good friends through high school and kept in touch over the years. Now that they're in their forties, they meet together once a year even though they have completely different lives and live all over the country. It is inspiring how they support each other and how long they've kept in touch--even before social media was big.

On the other hand, as great as they treat each other, this kindness didn't always extend to outsiders--especially in high school. There is one girl in their group whom they gang up on and tell her all the things they don't like about her. She briefly leaves the group but ultimately forgives them and is accepted into the group again as adults. Many in their smallish town thought they were clique-ish and frequently excluded others.

As I read this book, I knew that they were girls I would not have liked in high school. And worse than not liking me, I would have been too unimportant to even notice. There's a character on the T.V. show The Middle. She's awkward and nerdy and unabashedly enthusiastic. And she's constantly having to convince people that she's lived there her whole life and isn't a foreign exchange student because they so rarely notice her. I was that girl, except that I was too shy to try to convince people that I did exist.

Today, I have exactly two Facebook friends who were friends from high school. I have plenty of "friends" who I barley know and haven't talked to in years. But I was important enough to two people in all my childhood and high school years for them to even bother "friending" me on Facebook where everyone has friends they barely know.

I do have some closer friends from college. Some who I can reconnect with even after years of silence between us. And there's a little comfort in that. But, I also have friends from college who I lived with for years and I thought we were really close even as the years have passed. And then they suddenly stopped speaking to me or replying to my messages. I don't really want to know what I did to either offend them or become so unimportant that I'm no longer worth the time to send a message to every few months. Now that I'm in my thirties, I wish I was beyond being hurt by such things, but it does make me second-guess myself and make me uneasy about new friendships. Do I dare get close enough to people for them to discover whatever unknown unlikable thing there is about me that has caused others to cut off years-long friendships without a word?

There are some bright spots in my close relationships with female friends (and if you read the book, as you age close female friendships are extremely important, even to your physical health). I have moved seven times in the eight years I've been married. And lived in five different states. But one of the great things about the church I belong to (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), is that no matter where you go, you have a built-in network of people who will befriend you and help you. Especially in the Relief Society, the church's women's group. Though I'm still a reticent person and take a while to become close to someone, almost everywhere I go, I have women who are willing to help me out. I've noticed this blessing more as my husband has had to leave the country on business for weeks at a time. His co-workers' wives have reached out to me and worried that I'm pregnant and have young kids alone in a new place. While I'm grateful for this and happy to pursue friendships with them as well, I've known that I am not as alone and isolated as they fear.

And the brightest spot, is my female friendships that truly have and will last a lifetime--whether they want it to or not. I have three sisters. We did not always get a long as children, we don't always agree as adults, but we love and support each other anyway. I turn to them for advice and ranting and de-stressing all the time. It was one of the things that made me desperately want a sister for my daughter.

Read Aloud Chapter Books: Mercy Watson

My daughters and I finished reading the Mercy Watson series by Kate DiCamillo. They were the perfect chapter books for their ages. The chapters were short so we could read one in a short amount of time, though we often read the whole book in one sitting.

The pictures are bright and the stories are fun for kids (a pig named Mercy is kept like a pet by Mr. and Mrs. Watson and she has ridiculous adventures). There's repetition for comprehension and the names in the book are often silly. My preschooler liked them best and looked forward to seeing if the library had one we hadn't read yet (there are six in the series). But even my toddler loved turning the pages and looking at the pictures while saying, "Mercy Watson! Mercy Watson!"

Now I just have to find a new chapter book to read aloud to get us back in the habit. What are your favorite chapter books to read aloud to small children?

Book Review: Salt, Sugar, Fat

Salt, Sugar, Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us by Michael Moss

Let me sum up this book for you: processed food is bad for you.

Okay, so I already knew that. Most educated people know that. But it's a little more horrifying to hear how many teaspoons of sugar are in a bottle of soda. That's a measurement I can visualize rather than the grams that are on the label. (And yet, while I read the section on soda, I wanted nothing more than to go out and buy a root beer--maybe it's the pregnancy?)

Some shocking things about salt: many processed foods, even ones we don't think of as salty (like breakfast cereal) taste like cardboard, or worse, taste metallic, without salt. Is it really food if it needs salt to make it taste like food? Also, humans are not hardwired to like salt. Babies like sugar and sweet from day one. But a baby who eats only fruits and veggies will not like salty things as they grow older, whereas a baby who eats grocery store foods like its parents will start to like salt.

Some shocking things about sugar: Many breakfast cereals are 50% sugar (sometimes even more). Most people know that soda is bad for them, and as a nation our consumption of it has gone down. But our consumption of sports ades, juices, and vitamin waters have gone up--and those often have just as much sugar.

Some shocking things about fat: Like salt, it's often in things that don't taste fatty. It's not a taste, it's a mouthfeel thing. And because of this and other factors, we have no internal alarm that goes off when we eat too much fat like we do with sugar. And cheese, which is incredibly fatty, has been turned into an ingredient, rather than an indulgence that people have after a meal.

This book was interesting and horrifying and a little bit frustration-inducing. What is left but fresh fruits and veggies? What on earth can I feed my children? Without crackers and cereal, what would I feed my toddler after she's had an apple, a banana, and an orange and is still hungry?

And a realization: if I tried to make everything homemade, I would have time for nothing else. I made homemade bread while we lived an hour away from a store. But as soon as we were closer to a store, I haven't made a loaf of bread (even when we had our bread maker). Trying to get a homecooked meal on the table is often frustrating, let alone making my own ketchup. I know chicken nuggets aren't good for you, but they're an easy back up on busy nights. Or when we've run out of bread before I get to the store and we can't have sandwiches for lunch. And, no, I'm not going to make homemade chicken nuggets. If I have time for that, I'll make something better than chicken nuggets.

So I've decided not to beat myself up for the processed food we do eat. I would like to slowly find healthier alternatives to some of the processed foods we eat. But I'd have to spend all day in the store reading labels to replace everything at once. I also don't want to suddenly shock my family (and myself) with a bunch of healthy food that has no appeal. And as long as I'm on the road to doing better, it shouldn't matter at what point in the road I'm on compared to other people (just like anything else in life).

My Best Reads of 2013

I've been making lists of the books I read each year since 2007. (Oh, I wish I'd been doing that when I was a lit major in college!) I read 37 books this year. Not as many as in previous years, but more than last year. Here are some of my favorites.

Fiction

1) Divergent Trilogy by Veronica Roth
The first movie is coming out in the spring. And when the last book was coming out, I decided to start over and reread from the beginning so I had a better continuity of the story. After both the second and third book, I noted that the story had taken a surprising turn. And the series has a truly surprising ending. They're YA lit, so they're shorter and less dense than an adult series. But they are engaging stories and good writing. Worth your time, especially if you plan on seeing the movies.

2) The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate
2013's Newbery Award winner. It was a beautifully written, slightly heartbreaking story. From the point of view of a gorilla. Yes, a gorilla. When a writer can draw me in with an unusual character, that's some good storytelling.

3) The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
This was my first adult Neil Gaiman books. I love his stories, but his children's stories scare the pants off me (but in an interesting way, not in a gross or gory way which is all too often the case these days), so I've hesitated to read his adult ones. The main character was a young boy, so I thought this one would be safer. I recommend it if you like stuff that's a bit different. Haunting story, beautifully written.

4) The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
A friend introduced me to John Green this year. I started with Finding Alaska, which was also good. But not as good as this one. He's an excellent writer. Most of the YA stuff I read tends to be fantasy or dystopian types. I don't read a lot of YA that covers contemporary topics (mostly because I'm not a youth struggling with those issues right now). But this writer and his stories are worth it. I'll be seeking out more of his works.

5) Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver
I hadn't read Barbara Kingsolver since I read The Poisonwood Bible in a feminist lit class in college. It was a really interesting story, really well written. I had actually started this book and put it down without finishing for months. The introduction led me to believe it would be a different book than it turned out to be. But I read enough good reviews to try again. So if you start this, I'd recommend reading a few chapters before deciding to give up on it.

Nonfiction Notables

None of the nonfiction I read this year fall into the best reads category, but I read a few that were interesting and worth my time.

1) Hallucinations by Oliver Sacks
This was a fascinating book. It covered hallucinations caused by all sorts of things--not just drugs or psychosis as you might think. I actually found out that it's not unusual to see spots and patterns during a migraine, which I've had before.

2) Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris
I love David Sedaris--he's hilarious if a little crude sometimes. I didn't put this one on my best reads list because I loved the stories from his point of view. But he also had stories where he took on another persona. I'd skip those ones. They weren't nearly as good or funny and they seemed a little extreme (which may have been his point, but it bothered me).

3) Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman and Parenting without Borders by Christine Gross-Loh
These are completely different books, but I lump them together because they had similar themes. They both talk about how children are raised in different countries. They didn't necessarily make me change much in my parenting, but it was interesting to see how many ideas we have about parenting are approached completely differently in other countries. We only see what those around us do. What I got most out of these books is to be a little more aware of why I do what I do as a parent--making conscious choices rather than habitual ones.

What were the best books you read in 2013? What should I add to my to be read pile for 2014?

Reading Aloud to Young Children

When my first was one year old, I read her the entire Chronicles of Narnia out loud while she played on the floor. We lived with my in-laws at the time, so I had significantly more time to do something like that. Since then I had really only read my girls the picture books that they chose. Which is great too.

But I have memories of my mom reading books aloud to all six of her children. Once my dad even read the book (Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls). I know we read lots of different books, but the ones I remember most are the books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Farmer Boy remains one of my mom's favorite books in the world.

One of my goals this summer was to read a chapter book out loud to my girls. I chose Little House in the Big Woods. Little House on the Prairie is the most well-known, but in Big Woods, Laura is about four years old, my daughter's age. Reading a chapter at a time, we didn't even finish its 13 chapters this summer. But then we started preschool and found a good rhythm for reading together and finished it quickly. After lunch my daughter changes into her uniform and brushes her teeth, then while we wait for it to be time to go, we read a chapter. Some days are too hectic, but more often than not we get to read together.

She loved reading this book because it did have a few drawings that she could look at as we read about something completely foreign to her (like harvesting or making cheese or going to a town for the first time in your life). Laura has a sister and a mom and a dad just like my daughter (both of them even have dads who have beards!).

Today we get to choose a new book to read. I significantly cleaned up my book collection before we moved here, but I still have a few of my favorites. I still have the entire Laura Ingalls Wilder collection because of the childhood memories they brought, so we could choose another one of those. A few other ideas I'll suggest to her:

The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner
Matilda by Roald Dahl
The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

I'm looking for something with stories that will entertain, but not be too difficult of topics. I've heard of a series of books called Ivy and Bean, which we may check out from the library. Any other suggestions of good read aloud books for young children?

To E-Read or Not to E-Read

I used to be an English major--which means I went through a phase of being a snob about books and movies. Then I got over it, stopped being so critical, and started enjoying some books and movies simply for the fact that they're entertaining. When people ask what kind of books I read, I still find I have to say that I go for things that are literary. When I've said that I'll read almost anything, people automatically assume I read romance. And for me that doesn't even hold entertainment value. So...I'm still a bit of a snob.

I also have a master's in book publishing. So I took the classes about book selling and how crappy it is and how almost no one makes any money off it these days. And I sat among the people who would never "sell out" and own an e-reader or even buy a book from a big box store. All indie bookstores all the time for them. (I love independent bookstores. And if I ever have lots of money, I'll do all my book buying at one. The fact is, I spend very little of my money on books anymore. Something to do with having kids to feed and clothe.)

I love the smell of books, old and new. I love owning a pretty book. Reading a book is a more sensory experience than reading off a device. But my favorite part of a book is the words and the story it tells. Which comes through on an e-reader too. I got a Kindle Paperwhite for my birthday this year and have been asked if I like it. So though I still read "real" books and will buy nice copies of my favorites, here's why I like my Kindle.

- I chose a Kindle and not a Nook because with Kindle you can download out of copyright classics for free. Whereas with a Nook, they'll sell you the B&N Classics version for a few bucks instead.

- My library has e-book lending. I can check out and return a book without leaving home. I have bought a couple of books on my Kindle. But the majority of my reading on it will be through library books, making it free to read many books after the cost of the device. And yes, I love browsing library shelves. But with two little girls, I don't have that freedom at the library. At the library I get to pick out kids books and chase kids running in different directions and loudly whisper "don't yell!" and "no running in the library!" over and over again. (Check to see if your library has e-book lending. Most bigger library systems do, but the last two places I lived had very small libraries and they didn't have it.)

- I can read at night without a light. My Paperwhite has a background light that I can turn way down if I'm reading in the dark--it doesn't hurt my eyes or wake up anyone else. The light is also made so you can read it in the bright sun at the beach, but my beach trips involve chasing children, not lounging and reading, so I haven't tried it out yet.

- On a trip I can take my Kindle and have lots of books available to read. Not that I often get to read on trips anymore, but it's nice to have the option.

I hesitate to buy e-books because I do like to feel like I actually own a physical book after spending money on it. But with my education background, I understand how much money is spent on developing, editing, and marketing a book, even without the cost of printing. But I'm happy with my Kindle and wish I'd made the plunge earlier.

What I've Been Reading, First Half of 2013

The first five months of this year, I finished four books. I was appalled when I realized that. I often stop reading for pleasure when I'm stressed, and this has certainly been a stressful year. Not reading is a sign that something is wrong and getting back into reading is part of the cure for me. In June and July, I have read 14 books. Here's some of what I've been reading lately.

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
I read the LOTR trilogy in college to coincide with the movie releases. I thought that I had skipped reading The Hobbit. But as I read, I remembered what happened and I had notes and creases all the way to the end of the book. So apparently I did read it. But had forgotten it enough to read it like it was new again.

Jessica Day George
I read three different books by her that were connected. And I read them out of order. My 12 year old niece had recommended them to me. I still love a good fairytale, especially with a bit of a twist here and there. And George delivered on this for me. They were also light, fun read that helped me get back into reading.

Hallucinations by Oliver Sacks
Really interesting nonfiction.

Inferno by Dan Brown
I find Dan Brown to be good escapist fiction, but with some added culture and history. I enjoyed the ride with this one, but I felt something was lacking in his conclusion. There were some major repercussions to his ending that weren't addressed at all.

Finding Alaska by John Greene
John Greene came highly recommended to me. I enjoyed this one and was told some of his others are even better, so they're on my library hold list.

Some contemporary fiction, all good:
The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes
The Butterfly Effect by Barbara Kingsolver
The Round House by Louise Erdrich

After four general fiction books with pretty serious topics addressed, I think I need a bit of fantasy or humor in my reading. I have the newest David Sedaris on the shelf. But I'm currently working through Joseph Anton by Salman Rushdie. One of the interesting things about reading a library book on my Kindle is that I have no idea how long the book is when I start it. Apparently this one is thick. I'm on my second check out and only half way through. I don't regret reading it though because of its importance in the history of writing, publishing, and free speech.

Read any good books lately?

Book Review: Bloom

After reading the introduction found through Pinterest, I read Kelle Hampton's Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected.

Kelle Hampton didn't find out that her second daughter had Down syndrome until she was born. A difficult diagnosis and adjustment even if you know ahead of time--all the more of a shock when you don't. This book is the emotional journey Hampton took the first year of her daughter's life.

There is a lot of merit to this book, and I do recommend it for some reasons. So first, let me get the stuff that bugged me off my chest. Hampton is blessed to have good family and many, many friends. At a party where she invites her closest girlfriends to, there are 28 women. I have good friends too. But I simply couldn't relate to feeling that close to that many people. I also couldn't relate to Hampton's ability to frequently go out for a girl's night on the town when she had a toddler and a baby at home. As someone who has never had a sip of alcohol, I found it strange how often Hampton drank to party or escape reality--especially since she was a nursing mother. And there were a few words that she simply couldn't leave alone. Badass was used far to often to be funny. And, I'm sorry, does everyone you know really call you "babe"? Maybe that's simply a lack of finesse with writing dialogue. Or maybe it's just my problem with being emotionally guarded when she clearly is not.

Even with my complaints about some writing style choices, I could tell she is someone I would read as a blogger, which is how she started. Her writing wouldn't bother me in little bites. And though I found her partying, gregariousness, and effusiveness hard to relate to, I'm sure for many people, these things would just make her book and message more accessible.

Her book would be best for other mothers or family members who have children with Down syndrome or other extra challenges. But the beauty of her book would be good for any mother--her honesty in her emotions. We hate to admit to any lack of loving feeling for our children. I fear an unplanned pregnancy because I never want to feel, even for a moment, that I didn't want a child coming to me. Hampton is honest about her feelings of wishing to have a "normal" child. She's honest about the gut wrenching pain and tears of the first night of her daughter's life. There is less guilt as we as mothers admit to imperfect feelings and actions. And Hampton works her way through it, which should offer a glimmer of hope for anyone struggling with a child.

"It is a rite of passage not just for special needs, but for motherhood--to worry, to cry, to go to the awful place of 'what would I do IF?' We ache when they ache, and we write with distress at the thought that they will, at some point in life, be hurt. And they will."

Interesting that I read this now as only a couple of weeks ago I had a discussion with a friend about childrens' personalities and challenges. Are we given the children we can handle, or the children we need to learn and grow?

Parenting Book Review: Bringing Up Bebe

Some parenting books I seek out, this one I saw on the shelf at the library and grabbed it on a whim. Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman is about an American journalist's experience as she raises her children in Paris. She notices some big differences between her children and the French children and seeks out why, often implementing what she learns. Though as her husband points out, she sometimes has to be careful to not be more French than the French.

Druckerman has a unique, if limited, point of view on parenting in the two countries. She often has a hard time pinpointing what makes French parenting different, and even the French parents she is close to often can't express what they do because it is so instinctual in their culture. Druckerman's own instincts have her parenting much like Americans do, but she is not in America and so her idea of what is going on here is also limited.

When she talked about American parenting, I could relate to much of it. However, she used the most extreme examples of what she read in magazines and what she saw on playgrounds in high end New York neighborhoods where the parenting she saw bordered on (and often crossed into) crazy. These extremes were illustrative, but sometimes I was annoyed that she felt she knew what was going on in American parenting when, 1) very few people are so extreme, and 2) there are obviously many different styles of parenting here even among the people I know personally, that I felt that the generalizations misrepresented us. There was one topic, and one line in particular in the book that actually offended me. But that requires a whole new posting.

There were some French ideas that I liked. French kids don't eat kid food--they eat food. They are expected to try everything (much like a "no thank you" bite that my in-laws and others I know have done here) and thus eventually acquire a taste for everything. French parents talk to their children like they are people (oh, wait--they are!) and can understand them from the very beginning, which I've always tried to do. Some ideas are too late for me (how they get their children to sleep through the night very young) and some are too far outside my culture (children as young four go away to camps for up to ten days).

The best idea I got from this book is the French idea that they are educating their children--teaching them rather than disciplining them:

“American parents like me often view imposing authority in terms of discipline and punishment. French parents don’t talk much about these things. Instead, they talk about the éducation of kids. As the word suggests, this is about gradually teaching children what’s acceptable and what’s not.

“This idea that you’re teaching, not policing, makes the tone a lot gentler in France. When Leo refuses to use his silverware at dinner, I try to imagine that I’m teaching him to use a fork, much like I’d teach him a letter of the alphabet. This makes it easier for me to be patient and calm. I no longer feel disrespected and angry when he doesn’t immediately comply. And with some of the stress off the situation, he’s more amiable about trying. I don’t yell, and dinner is more pleasant for everyone.”

The book was well written and engaging. It also gave me some things to think about. I'm going to try to think of parenting as teaching rather than disciplining. If nothing else, it might help me be more patient as Druckerman found.

Minimalizing

My family is going to be moving more than 2,500 miles from a small town in Idaho to Orlando, Florida. We moved from Washington to Idaho just last year. And from Oregon to Washington a year and a half before that. Every time we move, we get rid of stuff that we don't use often and really don't need anymore. And yet with every move there's more stuff accumulated or more stuff that we thought we still needed and moved the last time. How do we have so much stuff? Seven years of marriage and two kids does that to you.

There are a few factors that make this move different than our others.

1) It's a lot farther. Our farthest move previous to this one was from Utah to Oregon. It seemed far at the time, but this time we are literally moving across the country. If we really don't need it or use it, why schlep it that far just to throw it away or donate it in a new state?

2) We're going for a complete climate change. We've been living in the dry areas of UT/ID or the cool rainy areas of OR/WA. Now we'll be going to the year round sun, heat, and humidity of Florida. Winter coats and flannel sheets will never be needed.

3) We'll likely be living in a lot smaller space, at least at first. Rent is significantly more there, so we'll be moving to the smallest space we can manage in while we rent.

It honestly feels good to get rid of a lot of stuff we never use. VHS and our VCR? Gone. When was the last time we used them? Sad to see some movies go, but if we care enough, we'll replace them with a DVD or BluRay.

Clothes are an interesting thing. We're getting rid of winter stuff--but we have to get through this last bit of winter before we do it. I went through my girls' clothes. Even though I have no current plans to have more children, I couldn't quite bring myself to get rid of stuff that my baby grew out of. But with this move I did it. I allotted myself one small bin per child for baby outfits that I wanted to keep for the sake of the memory. Then everything too small for my baby and everything of any size that they're not currently wearing that is for winter got either donated to a thrift store, put in bags to take to my sister-in-law for her little girl, or put aside to see if a consignment store will take them to get us credit for all the summer clothes we'll need to buy. At the end of the cold weather here, we'll get rid of all the winter stuff they're wearing right now

Books are my passion and I have a large collection. I never quite made it to 1000 books and now I never will. I'm keeping almost all of the children's books we have, but even though I have more than 200 they all fit on one small bookshelf because they're so small themselves. All of my other books I am going through and only keeping if they fit two or more of these criteria: 1) all time favorite, 2) will definitely read again, 3) are a nice copy (even if I love the book, if it's a cheap mass market paperback, getting rid of it will encourage me to get a nicer copy if I still care later on--much like going from VHS to BluRay), or 4) have sentimental value.

It's a bittersweet process to part with books. The best ones that I'm getting rid of are going to be sold at a used bookstore. Others will either be sold at a yard sale if we're able to have one or donated to a school, library, or thrift store. My husband will be grateful to not have to move so many boxes of books to move from house to house. Though he bragged about how many books I owned more than I did. He's talked about getting me a Kindle on and off. And now he definitely has to get me one for my birthday this year to replace all the books I'm purging. But the best books still deserve a spot on my shelf as a real paper book.

I don't love moving. But I do love the excuse to clean and organize and dejunk our lives. To evaluate the things we really need and use and what is just taking up space.

Recommended Books of 2012

I read 30 books in 2012--far fewer than I had read in 2011, even though my goal was to read more in 2012 than the previous year. I was pregnant in 2011 and took care of a baby in 2011. I also moved to a new state. So those things might have a bearing on less reading time. I would make a goal to read more than last year, but this year looks even busier than last, so I'm just going to try to keep taking the time to read. This year is the year when my husband gets to buy me a Kindle, so I wonder how that will influence how much reading I do.

I looked over my list of books I read last year and these are the ones that stood out to me that I would recommend to others:

The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling
You read that right. I did not read the entire series until this past year. I had read the first few when they were first really big. My roommates would buy them, so I'd read them. But book 5 was just too long for me to take the time on when I was reading 15 books per English class per semester (oh, how I wish I'd kept lists of books I read back then!). But this year I read them all in close succession, starting with book one. Then I watched all the movies. Reading them this way helped me remember plot points and to appreciate Rowlings craft and storytelling skills.

Unpacking My Library by Leah Price
A photo book of authors' personal libraries. Cool for book nerds.

The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith
The best book on writing memoir I've ever read. And I've read a lot of them. I'm almost certain this is part of the new curriculum for my old memoir writing teacher's classes now.

How I Killed Pluto by Mike Brown
Interesting story about how Pluto got demoted. If every science writer was this good, I'd read science books all the time. I definitely want to look up and see if he's written anything else.

The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman
Compelling storytelling and fascinating story. Another author I might look up again in the future.

Midnight in Austenland by Shannon Hale
Shannon Hale is my new author for light reads. This one fit the bill, plus it made me want to read Jane Austen. Which any good fan fiction should accomplish.

The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
Beautiful story, beautiful pictures. The movie Hugo was good too. There were little differences, but it is one of the few times I'd recommend the book and the movie or both.

What did you read in 2012 that I should add to my list for 2013?