My Best Reads of 2013

I've been making lists of the books I read each year since 2007. (Oh, I wish I'd been doing that when I was a lit major in college!) I read 37 books this year. Not as many as in previous years, but more than last year. Here are some of my favorites.

Fiction

1) Divergent Trilogy by Veronica Roth
The first movie is coming out in the spring. And when the last book was coming out, I decided to start over and reread from the beginning so I had a better continuity of the story. After both the second and third book, I noted that the story had taken a surprising turn. And the series has a truly surprising ending. They're YA lit, so they're shorter and less dense than an adult series. But they are engaging stories and good writing. Worth your time, especially if you plan on seeing the movies.

2) The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate
2013's Newbery Award winner. It was a beautifully written, slightly heartbreaking story. From the point of view of a gorilla. Yes, a gorilla. When a writer can draw me in with an unusual character, that's some good storytelling.

3) The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
This was my first adult Neil Gaiman books. I love his stories, but his children's stories scare the pants off me (but in an interesting way, not in a gross or gory way which is all too often the case these days), so I've hesitated to read his adult ones. The main character was a young boy, so I thought this one would be safer. I recommend it if you like stuff that's a bit different. Haunting story, beautifully written.

4) The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
A friend introduced me to John Green this year. I started with Finding Alaska, which was also good. But not as good as this one. He's an excellent writer. Most of the YA stuff I read tends to be fantasy or dystopian types. I don't read a lot of YA that covers contemporary topics (mostly because I'm not a youth struggling with those issues right now). But this writer and his stories are worth it. I'll be seeking out more of his works.

5) Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver
I hadn't read Barbara Kingsolver since I read The Poisonwood Bible in a feminist lit class in college. It was a really interesting story, really well written. I had actually started this book and put it down without finishing for months. The introduction led me to believe it would be a different book than it turned out to be. But I read enough good reviews to try again. So if you start this, I'd recommend reading a few chapters before deciding to give up on it.

Nonfiction Notables

None of the nonfiction I read this year fall into the best reads category, but I read a few that were interesting and worth my time.

1) Hallucinations by Oliver Sacks
This was a fascinating book. It covered hallucinations caused by all sorts of things--not just drugs or psychosis as you might think. I actually found out that it's not unusual to see spots and patterns during a migraine, which I've had before.

2) Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris
I love David Sedaris--he's hilarious if a little crude sometimes. I didn't put this one on my best reads list because I loved the stories from his point of view. But he also had stories where he took on another persona. I'd skip those ones. They weren't nearly as good or funny and they seemed a little extreme (which may have been his point, but it bothered me).

3) Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman and Parenting without Borders by Christine Gross-Loh
These are completely different books, but I lump them together because they had similar themes. They both talk about how children are raised in different countries. They didn't necessarily make me change much in my parenting, but it was interesting to see how many ideas we have about parenting are approached completely differently in other countries. We only see what those around us do. What I got most out of these books is to be a little more aware of why I do what I do as a parent--making conscious choices rather than habitual ones.

What were the best books you read in 2013? What should I add to my to be read pile for 2014?

Learning to Serve

I always want to incorporate service into our Christmas season--especially with my children. Both now and throughout the year we have lots of service opportunities that we hear about through our church. But the majority of the time, my children are too young to come.

This year my daughter's preschool had a food drive before Thanksgiving. I took her to the store with a list of items they were collecting and had her pick some stuff out and then we dropped it in the bin at the school. I'm glad we did it. But I don't think she ever quite got what we were doing. Thankfully, she can't imagine not having enough food to eat. So it confused her that we would give boring old cans of food to other people. (Giving away treats and baked goods she understands.)

A member of my church works at a nonprofit that had a huge toy drive for children in need throughout the area. I didn't hear about the donating toys part, but then they needed help wrapping the toys. I took my four year old with me last night to wrap presents.

She manned the tape dispenser while I wrapped. She gave me pieces of tape two or three times longer than I ever needed. She also got to eat cookies and chips. I don't think she quite got what we were doing at first.

The donations were so generous that all the kids on the list were getting two toys from the drive this year. When I told her we needed to wrap another toy for the same kid, she was impressed. I told her that she was very blessed because she was going to get more than two presents this year. She stood up and exclaimed for all to hear, "Yeah! I'm going to get tons of presents!"

As time went on, I think she understood that we were doing this for other people. She would run out to choose another pile of gifts to wrap (usually choosing the princess themed stuff, but also some Buzz Lightyear toys). And then she would ask about the child is was going to. Was it a boy or a girl? How old were they? Do you think they'd like the gift?

My friend commented that she was impressed that even though my daughter was excited by many of the toys she saw, she never asked for any of them.

On the drive home, we took some detours through the neighborhood to check out Christmas lights. I told her that what we had just done was service--doing something for other people without expecting anything in return. She did learn that doing service gives you a good feeling inside. And sometimes, there's cookies.

The Naughty List

I've already talked about how I struggle with telling my girls the myth of Santa Claus. I mostly came to terms with it last year by making sure that the Veggie Tales St. Nicholas* story is watched often to keep the true story and the meaning of Santa at the forefront. My four year old is getting it a little. She told me the other day that Santa's real name is St. Nicholas.

But this is also the first year that she is exposed to peers at school talking about Santa Claus. And, as it turns out, her preschool teacher.

She loves her teacher. I like her teacher. Minus two incidents (one that has nothing to do with my child).

Yesterday she came home from school and told me that you have to 'have (short for behave) for Santa to bring you presents. My daughter does 'have so she expects to get presents. But Miss H--- said that K---- won't get presents if he doesn't 'have. (I'm not going to even get into the public shaming side of things, which I'm not a fan of.)

I really hadn't thought about the naughty/nice list side of Santa until then. It's not something my parents emphasized or held over our heads for good behavior (thank you, Mom and Dad). I cringed a little, and then told my daughter that I feel that Santa Claus is about selflessly giving to others and loving others. Everyone is good sometimes and bad sometimes, but everyone (particularly a four year old kid for Pete's sake) deserves a present from Santa. And this is all I'll say again and again as she brings up the naughty/nice issue.

On further contemplation, I realized there are two main reasons I don't like that side of Santa Claus. First of all, getting presents is not the right motivation for good behavior. (Neither is fear of punishment, I know that even though we use it sometimes, but we're working on that.) I want my children to want to do the right thing because it's the right thing. Not because they want to get more things.

Second, what about the kid whose personality makes it harder to behave, particularly in a classroom? It's honestly easy for my daughter to behave at school. She's quiet, gets along well with most people, likes pleasing adults, and enjoys learning. She's never had a single day when she didn't want to go to school (I've seen almost every one of her classmates reluctantly hanging onto their parent's leg, not wanting to go in, at one point or another). But the kid who has a lot of energy, who would really just prefer to pretend to be a dinosaur all day? Behaving, according to the confines of preschool, is a bit harder. That doesn't make him bad or less deserving of presents.

What do you think of the naughty/nice list side of Santa Claus? Or do you not overthink these things like I do?


* I love something new about this show this year. I hadn't noticed it before. At the end, the Veggies leave their church worship to go out and serve their neighbor in need. Yes, worshipping in church is important. But serving, doing exactly what Christ would have done, is more important.

Florida in December

At the risk of being hated by anyone living outside Florida, here's a screen shot of the temperatures throughout the country yesterday:

One of these states is not like the others. One of these states just doesn't belong.

While I'm certainly glad to not be experiencing subzero temperatures or facing ice and snow storms when I go outside, the weather feels off to me. I've always lived in the west and it's supposed to be cold and sometimes snowy in December. It doesn't feel much like Christmas when it's hot and sunny and we have to turn the AC on.

My observation of Floridians shows me they don't quite know what to do with hot weather in December either. When I go out shopping I will see two women together--one will be wearing jeans, a hoodie, and boots. The other wears a sundress and flipflops. Either seems to be acceptable on the same 85 degree day. I miss boots and jackets, but I just can't bring myself to wear them in this heat.

Even advertisers don't know what to make of it. Our Target ad shows winter boots and tank tops on the same page.

I've been stubbornly wearing jeans no matter how hot I am because I just don't want to have to shave more than once a week (for church) in December. If I lived anywhere else in the country, I wouldn't even be doing it that often. But...I have been more than happy to wear sandals every day.

The First Thanksgiving (As Retold by a Preschooler)

Today as we left preschool, my daughter was jumping up and down with excitement for Thanksgiving. I'm glad their activities at school has got her excited for it, because Christmas anticipation has already taken over. And though I'm excited to be spending Thanksgiving at home, I'm pretty sure my daughter is just going to eat rolls and whipped cream, so it might not be as thrilling of a day for her.

On the drive home she told me the story of the first Thanksgiving. It went something like this:

"There were some people and they were traveling really far and they didn't even have a GPS! And they were on a big boat and they didn't have a frigerator so they just had to eat dry food. And then they got somewhere and they met some people with different colored skin. And those people taught them to catch fish and plant some food. Then they ate dinner together."

Gratitude Now

Last night we had a lesson on gratitude for Family Home Evening. We printed out Count Your Many Blessings trees (which I found here via Pinterest) and some colored circles. After talking about what blessings are we each wrote some blessings down on the circles and glued them to our trees.

I added a few to my four year old's like family and preschool and friends. Here's what she came up with on her own:

- Ella (a cousin)

- squirrels

- M&Ms

- our plants

- painting pictures

- sending pictures to people

- elephants

- flowers

I asked my almost two year old what she loved and she said cars (the toy she was playing with yesterday). Her sister added the beach for her tree (she's been talking about the beach a lot lately). We also put her family, apples, and books. And she added lots of blank circles because gluing is fun.

My tree includes family, friends, technology that helps us keep in touch with family, having a second car, free preschool, my husband's job, personal revelation, and naptime.

My husband's tree includes family, his job, education, hope, the ability to progress, and coming home to hugs and kisses every day.

What are you grateful for today?

Gratitude

November is a time of gratitude. I have tons to be grateful for right now. In church on Sunday we had a lesson on gratitude. And they talked about having gratitude when times are tough. While I have certainly have challenges right now, compared to two years ago, it's easy to find things to be grateful for now. I'll be honest--I did not find much to be grateful for two years ago. I am not good at finding the good when times are tough. But better late than never, right?

Here's the challenge: we lived in the middle of nowhere. In a town of 90 people. And it was at least an hour drive to anywhere. I was a stay at home mom to one child with another on the way. But despite the challenges, there were some blessings.

- We had a huge house. With an awesome fireplace.
- We had a huge yard for our daughter to play in. And it came with raised garden beds, an apple tree, and a peach tree. Lots of room to run and play and fly a kite.
- We had an all-terrain wagon that made it through mud and gravel and snow. It was only half a mile to our downtown where we could walk to the post office every day. And on the way home we would stop at the market and get chocolate milk. And the town was small enough that the everyone at the market knew us.
- Our landlords were our neighbors. And they were the sweetest landlords in the world. In fact, everyone in the town was friendly.
- The bookmobile came to town every other week.
- We had to drive 1 1/2 hours to the doctor. But, my good friend from grad school lived in that town with her children who were born within a couple months of each of mine. So every time we went for a well child check up, we got to visit my friend.
- The fact that we lived so far from anything led us to do a home birth. Which I never would have considered. And turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life.
- We lived three hours from the airport. Which also happened to be in the same city that my in-laws lived in so we got to visit them whenever we needed to go to the airport.
- We spent a lot of time together as a family--whether it was because we lived too far to go anywhere, or because we had lots of time to talk on our long drives to anywhere.
- Every challenge we faced there, has taught me to be grateful for things I used to take for granted. Like stopping to get gas on the way home from dropping my daughter off at school. Or asking my husband to stop and grab something from the store on the way home from work.