#2

With baby #1 I was completely neurotic. I read every book and article and knew exactly what she should be doing at every stage. I worried that I was doing something wrong if she wasn't sleeping through the night by such and such an age. I was meticulous about introducing solids and always knew what she was allowed to eat and when.

With baby #2, I'm only slightly neurotic. (I still occasionally check to make sure she's still breathing while she sleeps, but not as much as I did with #1.) I have no idea what the books say she should be doing. Sometimes I look in #1's scrapbook to compare when they got their first tooth or started sitting up, but as a point of interest, not because I'm worried that #2 isn't on track. I don't worry about what the books say she should be doing and adapt my mothering to what works for her and keeps me the most sane.

I've still tried to be careful about introducing new foods because food allergies run in the family. She had a reaction to cantaloupe and so I won't be giving it to her again till it's in season again (I'm trying to move our family toward eating seasonally, but that's another story).

But with #2, even the best of intentions are sometimes altered by #1. There are a few things I don't want my baby to eat until she's one year old. Cow's milk, honey, and chocolate. The other day #2 (who isn't quite 10 months old) was crying while I changed the laundry. Suddenly, she was happy without me having to intervene. The reason: #1 was sharing her honey graham crackers and milk. And in keeping with my more relaxed attitude, I just said oh well and asked #1 not to share those things again. But she probably will. And the baby will survive. Plus I think it's more important that my daughters learn to share and play together nicely.