The birth of my third baby is the reason for my long absence here. As I've said in the past baby #1 was an in hospital birth with an epidural. Baby #2 was a home waterbirth. With baby #3, I was lucky enough to live in a place that offered every option for birthing that I could hope for. (Florida is not a good place for a VBAC though. But that wasn't something I needed to worry about.) I chose another home waterbirth. Here's the short version of birth #3.
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I had a
midwife appointment at 40 weeks and 4 days. I had been losing my
mucus plug for a few days and had been having harder contractions on and off,
though they never lasted for more than an hour or two. When the midwife checked
me for progress, I was dilated to a little more than a 3. Since I was past my
due date, she offered to strip my membranes if I wanted. That is supposed to
help get labor going in a few days if you’re close anyway. I felt I really was close to labor this time.
After she stripped the membranes, I was dilated to 4 cm.
At 4:00 p.m. I started having contractions that slowly built in frequency and
intensity—until about 9:00 at night. Then they slowed down. I went to bed at
10:00 knowing that if real labor was going to happen, it would happen even if I
was sleeping. I was woken up with a few sharp contractions, but fell asleep
after them. At 1:00 a.m. they were frequent and strong enough that I couldn’t
go back to sleep, so I got up and walked around and bounced on the birth ball.
I woke my husband up a
little after 3:00 and had him stay up with me and watch the contraction
tracker. He was worried about calling the midwife too early (a
mistake we made in the past), but I was ready. He called her a little after
4:30 and she headed here.
I got
into the bathtub to help me relax through the contractions as they were getting
much more intense. I
was handling my contractions better than my past labors. The key for me this time was
using the time between contractions to relax and enjoy the break instead of
spending the time between contractions being tense and fearing the next
contraction. This worked so well, especially early on that when the midwife got
here (a little after 5:00 a.m.) my blood pressure and pulse were really low and
made it seem as if I were relaxed instead of in labor. When the midwife first checked my progress, I was hoping to be
dilated to a 6 (that’s a number that indicates real labor—you can walk around
for days at a 3 or a 4). I was an 8!
I
definitely wanted to labor and birth in the birthtub and since contractions
were getting more difficult, I was hoping to get in soon. But the midwife said his
head was a little to one side and it would help if I labored while lying on the
opposite side for a while. So I did. It was nice to labor in a resting
position, but hard to do it without warm water or movement to help. Eventually
I moved to the birth tub.
I’m not
sure of the timeline from that point. But the contractions continued to get
harder to get through, though I kept telling myself that they were good because
each one got me closer to baby.
I
remember being tired and wanting a nap (I’d been awake since 1 a.m. after all).
I asked the midwife how much longer it would be so she checked me and said I was
dilated enough, but that the amniotic sac hadn’t broken yet. It was bulging
with his head right behind it so she asked if I wanted her to break it and
speed things up or if I wanted to try some pushes during contractions to see if
I could get it to break. I pushed through three contractions. When the midwife checked, my water still
hadn’t broken, so she broke it for me. Thankfully, it was bulging enough that
she could do it between contractions instead of during one.
Things
definitely sped up after that. I can’t remember if I threw up before or after
she broke my water. But I knew it was a good sign when I did throw up because I
had thrown up during transition with both my girls, so I was kind of waiting for
it. I was upset that I did it during a contraction though—it just seemed unfair
to have to deal with both. And not really possible to relax through a
contraction while you’re throwing up bile.
I moved
into a kneeling position with my husband kneeling outside the tub to support me. I won’t sugarcoat it—pushing a baby out without any pain
relief is excruciating. I did notice with some curiosity that once the burning
pain of the head crowning begins, the band of pain around my lower abdomen
(which is where the pain of most my contractions are felt) was gone. Just
replaced by the horrible burning sting that they call the ring of fire. My legs
also felt like they were burning.
So why
would I choose to give birth without pain relief? Without getting into benefits
vs. risks of medical intervention, I have two main reasons. 1) With my first I
couldn’t feel what was going on—which meant I couldn’t work with my body to
push the baby out. Feeling pain meant I could also feel what I needed to do and
when my body needed to push. 2) Relief and happy hormones come once you push a
baby out without pain medication. When I couldn’t feel pain, I couldn’t feel
any of the good hormones either. I still felt numb, both emotionally and
physically, after my medicated birth.
I remember them
telling me to try to relax in between contractions. But here’s the thing for me
with pushing—there is no in between. There are waves of more and less pain, but
they crash into each other relentlessly without giving you a break. The only
way they end is to get the baby out. Which was motivation for me. Since I was
more in control this time around, I was able to actually bear down and push
with my body. I
also had a chance to reach down and feel his head when it was partially out,
which helped me realize how close I was to being done.
His head
was out but his shoulders were stuck so the midwife told me to put one of my legs up.
In the moment I couldn’t comprehend what that meant so she grabbed my leg and
set my foot down so I was only on one knee to try to open my hips and help him
out. This didn’t work so she told me I needed to lay back. I understood what
that meant, but couldn’t comprehend how I could possibly change position in the
moment. Somehow they moved me so my other leg was up and I was laying back. As
I pushed I felt a definite tug as the midwife pulled and helped me get his
shoulders through. The cord was wrapped around his neck a few times so it took
a moment before he could be brought up to my chest.
When he
was brought up, he was blue. Which is scary, but I could feel his heart beating
and I knew it was common for babies to need help getting that first breath. The
midwife and I rubbed him for a bit, then she took him and laid him face
down while she rubbed his back. That still didn’t work so she got the bag and
mask and gave him a few pumps of air. She asked the assistant what time he had
been born and realized that only two minutes had passed even though it seems like
an eternity when your baby’s not breathing. After the bag and mask he started
coughing stuff up and breathing.
I held
him and the family gathered around to see him. The placenta came out soon after
and a little while later, Daddy cut the cord and baby got out of the water. Daddy and big sisters cuddled the baby in bed while the midwife and her assistant
helped me out of the birth tub and to the bedroom. I had only a superficial
tear and I was allowed to decide whether I wanted stitches or not. I chose not
to and had to be really careful the first few days, but the recovery has been
so much better without stitches.
Baby #3 was
born at 8:55 a.m. after 6 or 7 hours of labor and only 14 minutes of pushing.
He was my biggest baby weighing in at 9 lbs. 7 oz., 22 inches long, and a 14.75
inch head.
I absolutely do not want to do it again--I'm content with #3 and neither my husband or I feel that we'll have anymore. But if I did, I would still choose a natural birth again.
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