Where You're Planted

Image from here.

I know there are plenty of people who can beat our record, but in under 8 years of marriage my husband and I have lived in seven different places--and we're headed to our eighth at the end of the month. (I'm not going to count living in a hotel for a week or two while we look for home #8.) This has included living in four, going on five different states. My oldest daughter will have lived in four states before she turns four. My baby will have lived in three states before she's 18 months.

I haven't loved every place we've lived. Our last place was in the middle of nowhere and I really struggled living there. The above quote often haunted me--as I never felt like I bloomed there and worried that the problem was with me and not with the place. Well, both were partially true. But I disliked it there so much that anywhere else sounded good (and that may be the best thing I learned there--gratitude for everywhere else I will ever live)--even Idaho.

I grew up in Utah and many people, usually people who had moved to Utah from California and other places, made fun of Utah. So we Utahns made fun of Idahoans. Maybe if you grow up in Idaho you are glad you don't live in Montana, and if you live in Montana you're relieved to not live in the Dakotas. And if you live in the Dakotas...maybe you're just happy to not be in Canada? Anyway, I never thought I'd want to live in Idaho.

But as I face another move--our biggest yet--I know I'm going to miss Idaho with its friendly people, its wide open spaces, its lack of traffic, and its big blue sky. And I've worried about moving to Orlando, Florida--a place I've never been. I worry about Jurassic-sized bugs, alligators, heat and humidity, the lack of mountains. But mostly I worry about my children's safety and the kind of environment I will be raising them in.

I found comfort this week in a quote from my church's General Conference:

"How we raise our children is more important than where we raise our children." - Elder Stanley G. Ellis

So I'm taking a deep breath as we take this giant leap of faith into the unknown. I'll keep my children close, my prayers for them frequent. And keep my eyes open for new things to love. A year ago I never would have guessed that I would be so sad to move away from Idaho of all places. Let's see what Florida has to offer.

Article found here.

Stability

My Girls with their Daddy. Pic taken by Grandma at Grandma's house.

Our family just enjoyed a short trip to see extended family. And it was one of the last times our little family will be together for a while. Daddy flew out for a conference the day after we got home from our trip. He'll be home this weekend, and then he'll be gone for a month. Then home for two days. Then gone for a month. And so on until we move across the country to Florida.

Moving is rough on kids, no matter their age. My oldest was 18 months when we moved into a new house and she spent the first few weeks afraid because she didn't know where to find me in the house if I was around the corner. The house was too big and too unfamiliar. As they get older, all the other familiar, routine things in their life are disrupted with a move. I'm pretty sure my daughter could give you directions on how to get to various stores and church from our house. She has friends here she's comfortable with and she knows her teachers and classmates at church. When we move, we'll leave all that behind and everything and everyone will be strange to her. My youngest will be almost 18 months and because of my experience with my first, I know that she will notice the differences. She couldn't crawl yet when we moved here, so this is the only house she has explored. Not to mention kids picking up on the stress that parents feel during the move.

It's not like our life is exactly stable up until we move. Daddy is usually gone and won't be home long enough to adjust to him being back home before he leaves again. Even before the packers come, I am going through our stuff and getting rid of lots of it.

As I contemplated the coming months, I struggled with the thought that nothing in my girls' life will be stable and steadfast. Kids need routine and familiarity--they need something certain, something they can always count on to be there. And then I realized that they do have that--it's me, their mother. Daddy leaves, but Mommy stays. We'll be in a new state and a new house, but Mommy will be there with them. Which made me realize even more the importance of me staying centered and sane and calm for them. Any ideas on how to do that? My world is being turned upside down too.

Minimalizing

My family is going to be moving more than 2,500 miles from a small town in Idaho to Orlando, Florida. We moved from Washington to Idaho just last year. And from Oregon to Washington a year and a half before that. Every time we move, we get rid of stuff that we don't use often and really don't need anymore. And yet with every move there's more stuff accumulated or more stuff that we thought we still needed and moved the last time. How do we have so much stuff? Seven years of marriage and two kids does that to you.

There are a few factors that make this move different than our others.

1) It's a lot farther. Our farthest move previous to this one was from Utah to Oregon. It seemed far at the time, but this time we are literally moving across the country. If we really don't need it or use it, why schlep it that far just to throw it away or donate it in a new state?

2) We're going for a complete climate change. We've been living in the dry areas of UT/ID or the cool rainy areas of OR/WA. Now we'll be going to the year round sun, heat, and humidity of Florida. Winter coats and flannel sheets will never be needed.

3) We'll likely be living in a lot smaller space, at least at first. Rent is significantly more there, so we'll be moving to the smallest space we can manage in while we rent.

It honestly feels good to get rid of a lot of stuff we never use. VHS and our VCR? Gone. When was the last time we used them? Sad to see some movies go, but if we care enough, we'll replace them with a DVD or BluRay.

Clothes are an interesting thing. We're getting rid of winter stuff--but we have to get through this last bit of winter before we do it. I went through my girls' clothes. Even though I have no current plans to have more children, I couldn't quite bring myself to get rid of stuff that my baby grew out of. But with this move I did it. I allotted myself one small bin per child for baby outfits that I wanted to keep for the sake of the memory. Then everything too small for my baby and everything of any size that they're not currently wearing that is for winter got either donated to a thrift store, put in bags to take to my sister-in-law for her little girl, or put aside to see if a consignment store will take them to get us credit for all the summer clothes we'll need to buy. At the end of the cold weather here, we'll get rid of all the winter stuff they're wearing right now

Books are my passion and I have a large collection. I never quite made it to 1000 books and now I never will. I'm keeping almost all of the children's books we have, but even though I have more than 200 they all fit on one small bookshelf because they're so small themselves. All of my other books I am going through and only keeping if they fit two or more of these criteria: 1) all time favorite, 2) will definitely read again, 3) are a nice copy (even if I love the book, if it's a cheap mass market paperback, getting rid of it will encourage me to get a nicer copy if I still care later on--much like going from VHS to BluRay), or 4) have sentimental value.

It's a bittersweet process to part with books. The best ones that I'm getting rid of are going to be sold at a used bookstore. Others will either be sold at a yard sale if we're able to have one or donated to a school, library, or thrift store. My husband will be grateful to not have to move so many boxes of books to move from house to house. Though he bragged about how many books I owned more than I did. He's talked about getting me a Kindle on and off. And now he definitely has to get me one for my birthday this year to replace all the books I'm purging. But the best books still deserve a spot on my shelf as a real paper book.

I don't love moving. But I do love the excuse to clean and organize and dejunk our lives. To evaluate the things we really need and use and what is just taking up space.